so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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