they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
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