Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
