508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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