You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize
