We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
