i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'm sobbing to NWA
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Randomize
