Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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