I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
