Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
