oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
We had sex on a dog bed..
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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