It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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