Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
