Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
