Where did you get a picture of my penis
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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