it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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