I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
