We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
