He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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