im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
