He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
