If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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