I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
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