i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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