and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize