Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Randomize
