So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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