North Korea, Best Korea!
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
