I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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