is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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