My room smells like vodka and shame
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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