He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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