TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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