at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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