I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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