I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
A bitchslap is in order.
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