these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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