i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Randomize
