My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I don't deserve a penis
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
