end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
She made me pour olive oil on her.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize