If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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