New invention idea: vibrating tampons
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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