I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
