Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
