My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize