he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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