i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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