So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I need to stop coming to work sober
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
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