You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
