What a fucking waste of an outfit
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
