Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
