oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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