ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
