Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I think I just sharted jello shots
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
