I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I just cut my nipple shaving
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
