Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
