I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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