HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
