1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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